Prepare for Everything and Expect Nothing in Return (and other quotes that will destroy your self-esteem)

It occurred to me the other day that my self-esteem has reached such a low point that any compliment regarding my sense of humor/ intelligence will elate me for the rest of the day. That is, until my inevitable slip up concerning anything whatsoever, in which I will spend the rest of the day in my own little corner of despair.

( I did warn you about my habit of naming things in a dramatic manner. It will only get worse from here).

In my habit of over thinking things, I realized that most compliments I received were due to self-bashing in public, resulting in a positive, polite disagreement.

Case in Point #1: Loony: I feel absolutely disgusting today.

Person in near Vicinity: Why? You look great!

Loony: Thank you.

Which, in some cases is a valid compliment. In others, it is merely a polite and mannered comment, for nodding in agreement will get you shunned for being an asshole.

It is a rare experience for me, thus, to receive a positive remark without such a comment.

Case in Point #2: Loony: *makes an off-handed comment she doesn't find very witty*

PinV: *laughs* Why the hell are you so funny?

Loony: *does not show her complete and utter elation to this compliment, and spends the rest of the day in a good mood until she tries talking and ends up speaking gibberish instead during Chemistry*

. . .

Yeah.

Lacking Necessary Social Skills

I lack the social skills necessary to talk to human peers.

Well, face-to-face interaction, anyway.

It's no problem for me to express my thoughts online (what with the fact that I can spend an hour coming up with the perfect response, and later blame it on my wonky internet connection).

However, when the time comes where a smart and witty comment, or merely a statement of any sense is required in day to day life, my first reaction is "Blurgh-Ah."

Yes, "blurgh-ah". Sometimes replaced with the well known "um tfftpl?" and the beloved awkward smile of social death.

Yes, I do quite enjoy giving names to things that lack importance, why do you ask?

And no, this first post does not have a point. Or a moral. Or a life lesson. It's merely a warning for all the scenarios you may read about in my following posts; scenarios that may make you throw your laptop at the wall in a fit of embarrassment or spit (drink of choice here) at your screen in laughter.

And yes, I refuse to pay you for any harm your beloved computer may receive through such actions.

. . .

Such fun this will be.

Cheers!

Loony